In four days, I experienced five seasons.And the nice thing about that is that every so often the toilet will back up, and you'll feel like a WINNER! Then you take those quarters to the bathroom and you flush them, one by one by one. Why? Because you're never going to see them again. Take that $100 back to your hotel room and stare at it for a long, long time. On your arrival, you get $100 in quarters.
I got a nosebleed I was having so much fun in the car. It is not a joy to ride!" This is a car that goes forty-five miles an hour with the wind if you actually turn off the air conditioner you can supercharge the little fucker to thirty-eight.
I said, "They've stolen my rental car, a Plymouth Horizon." The policeman said, "I guess they took it for a joyride." I said, "You know, I don't think you're listening, asshole. Because that's not something you'd think of on your own. And you know how it's over 100% humidity? When you're walking down the street for five minutes thinking to yourself, "You know, I should have put deodorant on my balls." That's over a hundred. Everybody's always delighted with it-no! Listen! The temperature down there is always over ninety and the humidity-and here's the problem-is way over 100%, way. Al Roker makes 1.5 million dollars a year as a weather person, and he doesn’t know shit about the weather. THAT'S NOT EVEN IN THE BALLPARK! If you were a roofer and you built a roof and it was two feet off, you'd still be serving time. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, he was two feet off. We were supposed to have, according to Al, 4 to 12 inches of snow.